Saturday, September 13, 2008

Day 1

An original title for this first entry if ever there was one. My daughter blogs and I'm going to give it a try. If I can't be witty and engaging, I will quit. That is, unless I tickle myself endlessly in a modestly self-absorbed way.

You are what you eat? Tell it to the bedpan. Today I changed a bedpan three times. Twice it contained a dark passenger; a reminder that no matter what you eat, you can't keep it. Oh, I guess you keep a lot of it, I myself have traded a six-pack for a minikeg. Earlier today my wife informed me I have about 6-8 pounds of undigested food in my intestines. This must be true, the colon cleanse info-mercial is beyond reproach. Isn't Klee Irwin photogenic? They confirm John Wayne, the Duke, had 42 pounds of the stuff when he died. I want to know what the hell they were doing in his intestines. "Hey, it was The Duke, we couldn't resist?" OK, maybe. But, how do you measure intestine content? Do you remove it from the corpse, stick a garden hose in one end and flush it into a container? Wouldn't it then contain water which itself is 6.5 pounds per gallon? I am suspiscious of this 42 pounds number. And, I can never watch the Duke's films in quite the same way again. I hope you're happy, Mr Irwin.

1 comment:

belleshpgrl said...

If that's the case, I need to cleanse all the time!